Caring for Lois: A Husband’s Concerns and Strengths

QUESTION

read the article answer the following
1. What are Mr. Gardner’s strengths?
2. What are your concerns for Phil and Lois?
3. What is the cause of your concern?
4. What additional information do you need or wish you had?

Article

Phil Gardner here. You asked me to tell you what it’s like taking care of my wife. Lois, my
wife, is in the hospital now with pneumonia. We just had our 25th anniversary a few weeks ago.
Then Lois got a cold about a week ago and it kept getting worse till I finally got scared by all her
coughing and brought her to the emergency room. She doesn’t smoke anymore but she used to
and I think it took a toll on her lungs. She needs a few inhalers for her breathing problems.

Lois was healthy when we met. She owned and ran a restaurant where I used to eat sometimes
after my divorce. We were around 50 years old. We had plans to do so many things. I worked
hard for the fire department since I was 25 years old and I wanted to retire and see the world.
So, we got married, Lois sold her restaurant and off we went! But our travels were cut short
when Lois had a heart attack. It wasn’t a bad one and she recovered OK I guess, but things were
never quite the same. She developed emphysema, and then congestive heart failure. We did a
little traveling, but she never got all her strength and energy back. I’d say she was pretty stable
for at least 10 years, except for some problems with her breathing. She got a lot of colds and
always kept her albuterol close by just in case. She still took care of herself though.

Then, about two years ago maybe, I noticed some concerning things. You know how you
sometimes forget where you put things? Well Lois did that a LOT! I’d find keys and clothing and
even food in the strangest places. Then last year her driving started to worry me. She’d get lost
easy. She didn’t want to drive at night. She went the wrong way down a one-way street and got
a ticket for going through a stop sign. She’d just cry when I wanted to talk about it. Then she
almost hit a guy on a motorcycle when I was in the car with her. I kind of yelled, not because I
was mad, but out of fright. We just decided right then and there she’d quit getting behind the
wheel. It’s a big responsibility when you are the only driver in the house, so that was a big
change.

I think things have been going downhill since then. Like with her meds. I realized she was just
taking things out of random pill bottles whenever she thought of it. I got one of those pill
organizers for her, but I know her meds and could see she wasn’t doing it right, so I fill them up
for her every week. I guess I’ve been gradually taking over other stuff too. I do almost all of the
household chores. I don’t mind, but I worry about her and where we’re going from here. What
if something happened to me? How would she manage? She needs a lot of help. Lois has a
sister, Dorothy, but she lives about two hours away and has some health problems too. I have
two kids from my first marriage. My son Phil Junior is married with three kids, and my daughter
2

Kara is married with two kids. It only takes about an hour to visit either of them. They’ve always
been on good terms with Lois and me.

Now that she’s in the hospital she seems a little worse, maybe because it’s a strange
environment. Now I guess I’ll need to learn all about checking her breathing, her new meds,
and the rest of her orders. I don’t think she understands most of this. I’ll do what I need to do
to bring her home. I’m just worried about her and where we’re going from here. I guess we’ll
just go home and follow orders and hope things work out. Maybe once she’s feeling better and
stronger we can get back to normal. Though I don’t know what’s normal anymore.

ANSWER

Caring for Lois: A Husband’s Concerns and Strengths

Introduction

In this poignant narrative, Phil Gardner shares his experience of caring for his wife, Lois, who is currently hospitalized with pneumonia. Phil’s dedication and love for Lois shine through as he recounts their life journey together, including the challenges they have faced due to her health conditions. This essay explores Phil’s strengths as a caregiver, his concerns for Lois, the underlying cause of his worry, and the information he might need to support her better.

Mr. Gardner’s Strengths

Unwavering Dedication: Phil’s unwavering dedication to Lois is evident in his willingness to take on additional responsibilities to ensure her well-being. He has assumed household chores and takes charge of organizing her medications with care and patience.

Empathy and Compassion: Phil’s empathy and compassion towards Lois’s health struggles are evident when he recalls her heart attack and subsequent health conditions. He genuinely cares for her and takes measures to safeguard her, such as ensuring she no longer drives for safety reasons.

Support System: Phil’s nurturing nature extends beyond his immediate family. He maintains a positive relationship with Lois’s sister, Dorothy, and his children, who could be potential sources of support in caring for Lois.

Concerns for Phil and Lois

Declining Memory and Cognitive Function: Phil’s concerns are primarily driven by Lois’s forgetfulness and cognitive decline. Her tendency to misplace items and get lost while driving suggests possible cognitive impairment, raising concerns about her ability to manage daily tasks and follow medical instructions.

Increased Dependency: Lois’s declining health has led to increased dependency on Phil. As he contemplates the future, Phil worries about how she will manage if he were to become unavailable due to unforeseen circumstances.

Lack of Awareness: Phil expresses concern that Lois might not fully comprehend her current medical condition and the instructions given by healthcare professionals, leading to challenges in managing her health effectively.

The Cause of Concern

The primary cause of Phil’s concern is Lois’s cognitive decline, which has progressed gradually over the last two years. The combination of her memory lapses, difficulties with medication management, and recent incidents involving driving errors reflects potential cognitive impairment. These cognitive challenges can impact her overall safety, well-being, and ability to manage daily activities independently.

Additional Information Needed

To provide comprehensive care for Lois, Phil would benefit from obtaining further information about her medical condition, the prescribed medications, and any recommended lifestyle modifications. Understanding the details of Lois’s medical treatment, including the purpose and potential side effects of her medications, will enable Phil to ensure she receives the appropriate care at home.

Conclusion

Phil Gardner’s narrative portrays a devoted husband who tirelessly cares for his wife, Lois, amidst her health challenges. His strengths as a caregiver lie in his dedication, empathy, and support system. However, he is understandably concerned about Lois’s cognitive decline and its impact on her daily functioning. As they navigate Lois’s hospitalization and plan for her future care, Phil’s determination to provide the best possible support for her remains unwavering.